8 STAGES OF SELF HEARTBREAK OVER THE DREAM GIRL

     Hello guys, welcome to Tapestry Views. Today I have an interesting topic or should I call it mind analysis of some set of guys who are an integral part of our society but have suffered frustration in approaching ladies. However their frustration is definitely their own doing and they so much suffer heartbreak (caused by themselves) which later lead them to not loving the girl again (so they think). Funny right? But it’s true. People like this exist or should I say people like 'us' (wink)! I will analyse this set of people through some stages they are passing  through when their love for a girl switched to hatred. After presenting these stages in this post, the next post will portrays some simple advice and solutions on how to overcome these issues. let’s dive into it!  

Foregrounding - what does foregrounding means? It means when something is packaged in a prominent way or the way something is presented to cause attraction.  We, guys all started from this first stage because it is the appearance whether it is pretension or unpretentious that attracted us to ladies. Since we have been attracted with the logical appearance i.e the way she (lady) walks, smiles, and dresses the outcome of this logic is falling in "love".

Love -  As long as we have been affected with the appearance incautiously our heart  and mind have been affected as well. Then we get overwhelmed with thinking. We started wishing we could or can get her or make her fall in love with us. This will land us in invisible world “imagination”. 

Daydreaming – it’s important to point out that some people thrive in living in their imaginary world more than they do in the real world. After admiring her(lady) for a while the thought of her  crawls into our mind,we begin daydreaming in a way that portrays both of us have fallen in love with each other, enjoying our day together and playing a lot of romantic scenario in our head till we snap into reality. Then we make up our mind to walk up to her and have those  things we have been fantasizing to reality and this will lead us to the next stage “strategy”

Strategy – Most of our thirstiness for love end in this stage as we descend with the thinking of rejection and we would rather not approach the lady than suffer rejection which will more crush us. This happen because of our over thinking on how to approach her. In this stage we would play every possible scenario of approaching the girl, like when and how we’ll meet her, how we’ll call her, how we’ll  present our speech  also how  we’ll end it, the kind of expression that will be on her face. Now, the problem lies in when we started imagining what her answer will be, If we sense that we have no chance at all of getting the girl we’ll chicken out immediately although it will hurt us but at least we won’t have to face been rejected by her. However, if we gather enough optimism we’ll move to the next stage.

Confidence – playing out the scenario of speaking with the girl in our head gives us enough confidence to approach the girl but the problem is that reality is far different from imagination. In imagination you control everything; how you want the day to be, how you want the weather to be, even to what her mood will be, to the clothe she wears e.t.c but unfortunately reality is far beyond our reach and this led to the possibility of been speechless.

Speechlessness– overthinking is one of the problem facing us in getting that girl because the reality is so different from the false pictures or scenarios we have in our head and a little shift in this false picture or a little difference in the pictures we have in our head may tend to make us freeze when we meet the girl and make us speechless, speechlessness in the sense that we might not go ahead with our speech but rather talk about something else, things which are irrelevant. However, we might summon the courage of asking for the girl’s phone contact but it will only get us to another thing.

The Loop – This is just a continuation of our speechlessness but in a different way because in this case it’s behind the screen of our phone but we are still hunt with the problem of being stuck in our pessimistic mind and our revaluation of the lady's facial expression, even though when we summon the courage of calling or texting her we started wondering if the lady have or doesn’t have a boyfriend then we’ll begin to evaluate ourselves on why we think such lady will ever have anything to do with us and many other reasons, we would think she can never be ours but unfortunately we still love the lady which will lead us to the next stage.

Discontent– ln other to shy away from the fact that we are scared of facing the lady and to save our self the pain of not having enough courage to face her we’ll suddenly begin to see some defect or flaws in her body that we don’t like which will make us see it as a reason we don’t want to date her anymore, this will give us some level of satisfaction that it’s us that do not want to chase the girl even though the fact is that we don’t just have enough courage to face her.

There you have it, the stages through which we special people have given ourselves heartbreak over a lady we have not and may not approach. Also they are the conditions we have given ourselves to desist from loving her in our mentality just because we couldn’t and cannot face her even though deep down in our heart we still love and admire her. However, it doesn’t have to always be like that, we can change from our naïve state of mind. Let's move from letting our dream ladies just go without knowing our feelings for them. Solutions to this conditions is what we would be discussing in the next post, so if you know you fall into this category check back next week and you will be glad you did. Thanks for reading through and don’t forget to drop your comment.